Victoria's Secret? THEIR BRAS ARE CRAP!

Okay so this is way out of my usual realm of writing, but I HAVE to share this story with you!

I went to Iraq last year, planned on staying two months and ended up staying for seven. Over there, we turned in our laundry to the laundry point and then picked it up three days or so later, cleaned... or at least that's how it's supposed to work. I, on the other hand, would turn in my laundry and get it all back, minus the bras and underwear. Ew. I found myself in desperate need for underclothes by week three.

I, of course, went to the PX (post exchange, the shopping trailer) to find new undies/bras. Any of you who have ever been in a combat zone knows what's coming next. All I found were gigantic granny panties, A, B, and C cup size (shudder) sports bras. Well, that's nice for the smaller blessed, uni-boob loving woman, but even in the real world I always have trouble finding my fit. So, I did what any girl who has been wearing nothing but nasty, cheep polos and khaki pants would do, I decided to go online and order pretty bras and undies from victoriasecret.com.

My first attempt was one night right before work. I got to the MWR early and sat down to go shopping, card in hand. As soon as I typed victoriasecret.com into the browser, I got a warning message from the US GOVERNMENT! It said the site I was trying to access had been labeled PORNOGRAPHIC! Great, just brilliant. So, I searched macys.com and guess what... I could open everything, men's underwear included, but NOT THE WOMENS UNDERWEAR! WTF? I was so annoyed! How was I supposed to replenish my dwindling number of undergarments if I couldn't even shop for them online? Did the Government really expect me to (gasp, shudder) wear nasty granny panties that went up to my boobs? Well, I wasn't taking that for an answer!

I talked to a couple of my female Soldier friends and asked them if they had the same problem with the laundry point. They did. I then asked them what they did about it. One of the girls suggested calling the 1800 number for VS and ordering that way. They both taught me the joys of In-CHU undergarment washing.... I hate doing laundry when the machine takes care of it, hand washing sucks worse! (especially when you share a bathroom with another girl and both of your bra's drip all over the tiny 5X5 room...) I digress... anyway one of the girls (thankfully) had a magazine that I gratefully leafed through. I made a list of choices by bar-code, then I realized that the KBR computer I used had a very flimsy firewall.... Needless to say, I ordered my new undies. After two months, and receiving one shredded box full of torn undies ( the convoy caring the box got bombed) I had a plethora of about 20 bras! Yea me! I was stoked!

I babied these bras, hand washing them and then laying them flat to dry. I made sure they were always hanging, they never got crushed and guess what... less than two months later they started FALLING APART! I mean skin tearing, scar giving, wire snapping, FALLING APART! I had just paid out the nose for these stupid things, waited for months (during that time I shall not divulge completely what I had to wear, lets just put it this way, I understand why COMMANDO is labeled as such..) and the bras had the AUDACITY to fall apart on me! I called VS and told them about the issue. They told me I had to send them back to the wear house, wait on approval, (which could take up to 6weeks) and then wait for my new ones to come in the mail. I was annoyed, but what could I do? It wasn't like I could walk down to VS and give them a piece of my mind... I was AT WAR for freaks sake and so, I took it up the.... (like we all have to from time to time) I sent the ones that were completely unusable in, and three months later I got them back, just in time for me to leave...

Once I was home, I decided to take all of my broken bras into VS. They have a "policy" that if their bras don't last the first year of their life, they are completely replaceable... so they say. So, I brought in the overpriced 50 bucks a pop bras, and wouldn't you know, the manager said and I quote "Victoria's Secret stores are in no way affiliated with the online store. We can't help you here. Try the 1800 number. " So she was pretty much telling me to f off. Nice. I did call the 1800 number, waited 20 minutes before even speaking to someone and then finally got transferred to a guy named Ted. Ted (no last name) told me that because my address had changed there was NOTHING they could do. I explained to him that I was in Iraq, and being that I had NO INTENTION of living there forever, it was illogical to tell me that I can't just change my customer information.... I got transferred... I talked to the next person in line... got transferred again... this cycle repeated about six times before I was speaking with the "head of the online store" She was nice. She heard my story and sympathized. She then gave me an account number, her contact info and supposedly called the store at the Grove to tell them to help me exchange my merchandise. Three hours after my initial call, she explained that her ALLOWING me to return the bras to the store was way out of normal policy, but because of the situation, she was going to allow it. I thanked her and grabbed my bag-O-broken-bras, Grove bound.

I walked in the door and asked for a manager. The first girl I asked said that she was the manager. Great! I explained the whole situation and she looked and me and said... "Yeah, I can't help you." I said "Not acceptable, I have a contact number and extension that you can call and ask any questions you need to and they will confirm everything I'm telling you." She retorted "Yeah, I can't call them from here." So my response, " Yeah, where's the actual manager?" Fortunately, the actual manager overheard and came over to assist. She told me that the other "manager" was just filling in for her while she was in her meeting. Bril. So once again, explanation, and handing of the bag full of my worn bras to the manager. The manager told me I was wearing the wrong sized bra." Okay great, get me the right size!" A half an hour, and 30 or so bra fittings later, my original purchase size was confirmed. Whatever, just get me the damn bras. So I exchanged 5 of them and got 4 back, okay, fine, whatever. BUT THEN, the salt had to be added to the gash...

After waisting countless hours of my life returning their shoddy product, and then FINALLY getting my bras, I am handed a note instead of a receipt. It states ( no shiza!) That I, the customer, am walking a fine line with Victoria Secret, and that I am no longer EVER allowed to return or exchange my bras for any reason! WHAT THE HELL? I looked at her and laughed! "So you're telling me that this company makes crappy bras that break, and sell them for fifty bucks a pop, and that I AM NOW being treated like criminal for returning said junk, not even asking for my money back, but exchanging this shiza. That is such a joke!" Though VS is one of the only places that make my sized bras, I will NEVER shop there again! The customer is always wrong and then treated like a freaking thief! Gross VS GROSS, oh and BTW Gap body makes better bras anyway. Take that!

If you are looking for something to send in a care package to our Military overseas, pretty bras and undies are really a great idea! There are quite a few women out there, but the public and the Military mostly caters to men and their needs.... Don't forget the ladies! Why bra's and undies? We can't get them in country! Even if we can't wear pretty clothes, it's nice to feel pretty underneath it all! After all, desert or no desert, combat or not, we're still girls!